i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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