goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
