i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
