Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
