I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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