Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I feel great
I just peed on a car
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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