walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
