You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
