So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
