i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
