if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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