Sry I called you an 8
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
