Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Randomize
