I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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