i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
