She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She needs sedatives and a leash
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
