How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
