I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
