that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
