So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
