i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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