That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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