i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
