Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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