There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
