If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
im calling her cock vulture from now on
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
