is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
