What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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