It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
