I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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