Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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