just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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