tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
