Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
