Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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