she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
