I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
