I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
