Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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