just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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