i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
