Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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