So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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