I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
