At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
