Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
