i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
