My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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