I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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