I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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