It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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