Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
