just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have fence marks all over my body
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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