I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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